i cant believe things changes so quickly..
it was just one month ago, i started my life all over again.. happily shifted into L's house..
now, i m suppose to shift out again. reason? if i tell u, u will say it is ridiculous.. but well, thats what happened, and i couldnt change anything..
mum has been worrying that me n L was too close.. reason? she is afraid that "history" will happened again.. i tried very hard, to let her know that everything is fine, ask her not to worry. recently, mum ask me to take back the internet from L's sister.. ask me not to help them so much.. slowly, L's mum begin to worry.. slowly, L's family dont dare to ask for help from me anymore.. i know, but i couldnt do much.. cos my mum dun like it.. she worry way too much, that i begin to slowly lost a fren and her family..
L has been very helpful to me in my work n life in KL.. if werent her, i guess i wouldnt survive in this company. working as a junior is tiring n stressful.. many times, L saved me from the hot soup. i have tried to tell my family how helpful she is, but i guess my family just couldnt understand.. everything to them is "it's ok, in the beginning is like that".. honestly that is not helpful..
when i manage to calm mum down that L and me are fine. we are close fren, or rather sisters.. now, Ls mum begin to worry that she may make my mum unhappy.. so to make things simple, she request for me to shift. so that i wont be too close with L, n therefore my mom wont worry. they dunwan my mum to worry, they dunwan to create any havoc in future just because i m staying with L..
honestly, i feel like jumping from the 23 floor down to the ground.. when my life has just settled down, waves come by again.. when will i be able to settle down in KL??? im tired of making everyone happy, satisfying everybody..
so now... im again searching for a home.. a HOME that i can belong to, a HOME that i can rest in peace and shelter me when i need..
tears ran through my cheeks as i received the news from L's sister that i have to shift.. but the fact is, i have to, so that no one in this world worry... that's the fact.. and to please everybody i have to make myself suffer..
is that what im born to this world for? i guess i am.. to make everyone happy, to fulfill everyone's wish..because i love you mum..
>.<
angel
2 comments:
Mixed feelings keep on flowing into my heart. I guess I know what you are talking about... totally...
dear, it is sad to see you sad. i sincerely wish you can find a best HOME in KL. You are not just making others happy, you are just making a "better" decision. Your parents do that out of their love to you too..
How come i always have the similar feeling as you? We moved to a new environment, things seems like start from zero. We are searching... searching for the life which we comfortable with. I actually envy you to have a good friend there and a family you love.at least, you had some good times with that good friend, isn't it. How nice memory!
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